Ishani - For the love of Rashi

Its 6.00 am in the morning, I had to wake up as I had a deadline to meet. The five stone diamond stud nose-ring in my nose reminded me about all my tasks at hand. I had to cook breakfast for my family, pack their lunch, prepare my elder son to school and pamper my 6 months old baby daughter. I am a born male with masters degree in engineering, worked as an assistant professor in reputed engineering college but now I am a happy housewife and mother of two.

It all started with a nose-ring. We have a small traditional family including my father Samar, mother Jaya, elder sister Jyoti and myself Ishaan. It was during my 15th birthday my parents took me to native place to get my ears pierced in a traditional manner. We reached our native village and we stayed in our grand-parents home. As per the tradition I was spared from hair cut for a year so my hair was shoulder length. My grand-parents were happy to see us and have already prepared for the ear-piercing ceremony in our family temple. Since there was less time we were taken for shopping soon after breakfast. I loved my grandparents more than my parents and I never disobeyed them. During shopping my grandfather brought two sets of pattu pavadai (traditional South Indian outfit for girls) one for me and the other for my sister. But I preferred to be in jeans and shirt but I couldn’t disappoint them. Since I hadn’t hit the puberty I had a unisex face and body. Then we went to a movie and then returned home. Since I was so tired I slept as soon as we reached home.

My grandmother woke me up and I was insisted to have an oil bath. Then she took me to her room and dressed me with pattu pavadai. I was already red being shy as it is normally worn by girls and now I was closely resembling my sister. To add to my shyness she make me wear golden bangles, necklace and anklets which was our family jewellery. Till now I had accepted it to please my grandmother and she too was happy with me. We got very late getting ready for the auspicious time. We hurried to the temple but my mother and sister started to tease me on our way. We reached the temple on time and the temple priest were ready for us. We were asked to wash our feet and then worship the god. When I lifted my skirt to wash my feet everyone saw the anklet and started to laugh. Then we were made to sit at the rear of the temple and a lamp was lighted on both sides. My father made us wear a flower garland. First it was my sister turn. My grandma gave big hoop dangling earring for her to get pierced. But being a modern girl my sister refused to wear. Since they brought only two pair one for me and the other for my sister. Mine was a small stud. As the time was running out my mother requested me if I can wear it. I did not want to disappoint them but I was scared because those were traditional earring passed on by generations. So I was to get pierced first. My grandma marked the point to pierce my ears. They removed the screw from the stud fixed a pointed needle and started to heat it in the lamps flame, fearing the pain my eyes already started to water. I was made to sit on my uncle's lap and he held me from preventing any motion. I couldn't move myself. As the needle was about to turn to red the priest approached near me to pierce my ears and I closed my eyes out of fear then there was a sharp pain. The priest was strong guy he did not let go of my ears and pushed it all the way through. I could feel the earring in my right ear. It was paining and it was heavy. I thought that my ear was going to tear out. After a few seconds he screwed the earring tightly in my ears. Again he started to hold the needle in the lamp flame. I pleaded my parents to stop it as I was really paining. But they just consoled me and repeated the same process. I nearly fainted after my ear piercing. Seeing all this my sister refused to get her ear pierced as she feared pain and started to run. I had no energy to do anything. My grandmother prayed to god for well being. I was asked to fell on my grandparents and my parents feet to get their blessing. My grandparents gifted me another set of pattu pavadai and my parents gifted me a golden ring, but I was in no mood to be happy. By this time they had pierced my sisters ears and she was now sporting a small stud which was supposed to be mine. But she was angry for making her feel the pain for piercing.

This is the turning point in my life. I had to wear a female dress and now I sported a dangling earring which added to feminine feature. After the ceremony in the temple, I was so exhausted that I went straight to bed. I was so tired that I didn't knew they made me wear a nighty for sleep. My ears were still paining and I was unable to turn my head as I felt a slight pain as the earring swinged. Seeing me my mom felt pity and made me sleep on her laps the entire night. I had removed the bangles and anklet. It was Saturday and it was already 7.00 am but I was still in bed. My grandparents have asked not to disturb me but they made my sister clean the whole house. She had grudge on me since then. When I woke up I was asked to take a bath and wear the dress kept on my bed. I was surprised to see the new pattu pavadai and matching jewels. When inquired my grandmother just convinced me to go with flow and help me to get dressed.

Just then our neighbor Rashi, who is the same age as me came to our home to ask me to play with her. When she saw in this dress she couldn’t stop laughing. Normally I should be angry but I felt shy and hid myself. Then grandma left us alone to talk. Rashi started to praise my beauty and said I should have been born as a girl and god had made a mistake, hearing this we both laughed again. Until now I had loose hair which I used to cover the earrings. But when I turned she saw something shiny and insisted to tie my hair to prevent hair loss. Then she saw the earring and had an open mouth. She pulled it to check if it real which resulted in me screaming and in tears. I couldn’t stop tears as it was really paining. Before I knew she hugged too tight that for a second I forgot about my pain. She apologized and brought saline water and cotton swab to help me clean the wound on my ears. Then as we were talking she wanted to take me out to the market for which I denied. But I promised to go with her the other day. Since it was our vacation father and mother left us in the village and returned back to Coimbatore. My sister wanted to escape from the chores and joined them in their travel. So I was left alone with my grandparents.

Rashi used to visit me every now and then. She even brought her clothes for me as male dress did not suit my hair and my earring. On Sunday night Rashi wanted to have a sleep over with me. So she brought a suitcase with her. We had dinner together with grandparents and then we left for my room. First she wanted me to wear her nighty. Initially I declined her wish but in the end she did convince me. I ended up wearing her nighty. She asked to lie down which I gladly did as long as she did not pull my ears. I heard her plug something to the power socket. Then I could smell wax. I just drifted to deep sleep. Then I felt my legs getting hot. But I was too lazy to wake up which was followed by a sharp pain. Just as I was about to shout I felt her lips on mine warm and tempting. I started to close eyes without paying attention to the pain. She asked if I wanted another. I kept silent. Then she poured hot wax on my other leg and stripped it. I got another kiss for each strip. I laid still. She gave me a towel and told me to have bath and asked to feel my legs. True to my surprise it felt like a baby skin too soft and flawless. She asked if I wanted more but I denied. She too accepted and we both went to bed and we slept in each others arm.

Next morning she woke up early and woke me with a kiss. She packed her stuff and left for her home. Today she invited to have a sleep over in her house to which I just smiled. When having bath I noticed my legs. It was smooth and flawless. She left some of her dress for me. I wore a pink tops which had shortest sleeves and a denim blue jean. When I went to have a breakfast my grandma was not pleased with my dress but she was happy to see my wearing the traditional earring as per her wish. I reasoned out that I had only two pattu pavadai and both are still wet after laundry. She just sighted and promised to buy me more but I didn’t care. My entire vacation I spend with my grandparents and Rashi. By now I had my full body waxed. We waxed each other and I was accustomed to wearing nighty and other female dress and my earring. But I wanted to be my male self soon though I enjoyed it. Just the day I left to Coimbatore I asked my grandma to remove my earring as I had no idea how to remove it. But she refused to do so. Then I asked Rashi to help me. She was sad to get departed but made me lay on her lap and removed it slowly. It was a new experience. As soon as she removed it I felt like missing something. She caught that sigh but said nothing. I checked the mirror but the holes were clearly visible due to the thick stem. 

I was in tears when they sent me off to Coimbatore. But they made a promise if scored good marks in my exam they will make sure to invited me for the next vacation due in 3 months. Two day after reopening of my school I caught up to being a naughty boy but I missed my happy days. Then we received a call from Rashi’s mother saying that she had attained puberty and a function was held for her and they wanted to invite my family for it. Initially they planned to send my mother and sister but I too went with them. It was Wednesday morning that we reached their place. At the auspicious time she was called to the center hall and was made to sit on a wooden plank. It was an all ladies function. I was the only male there except a few close relatives. I was asked to dress with pattu pavadai and of-course the earrings. So I was one of the ladies now. Rashi's mother was the first to apply sandalwood paste on her and inserted few bangles on her. Then I was asked to do the same and I sat next to her. My sister had no interest in it and kept standing there. It was a long day. The function ended late afternoon and she was taken to separate room and I was not allowed to talk to her. We left to our place and the day just went on. My sister thought the whole ritual was torture and warned mom never to make her undergo such function. Mom just kept quiet but was worried as my sister has not yet attained her puberty.

It was the next day when we were about to leave my sister did not join us for breakfast. We called her a few times but there was no response so my mom left to check on her. Then after few minutes she called my grandmother to her room. They came out smiling. Only then I realized that she too had attained her puberty. They asked me not to disturb her as she was not in good mood and they started to do the preparations. When they asked her to prepare for the function she just fainted. Soon a doctor was called to check on her. The doctor said that she was physically healthy but is in very emotional state and not to add any pressure to her. Now we had a problem in hand. Before we knew the news of my sister has reached every ears in the village and a crowd started to pour to our house. But my sister refused to leave her room. We were scared to force her as it may lead to any complication but we had to prepare her for the function the next day. Also all our relatives were on the way to attend a function as she was the only girl child in our family tree and they expected to make it a big function

All our relative had arrived but still my sister refused to come out. She even refused to wear the family jewel. All our relatives started to gossip as it was false alarm. My grandmother had no other choice. She wanted someone to be seated on the center fall to perform the function to save the family name, just then mom looked at me and asked if I can replace her for few hours. I was shocked to hear this from her. How can I replace a girl. After a little thought my grandmother too agreed for this but I wasn’t convinced. Then mom made an offer to help me get admitted in our village school if I help to save the family name. Even before I could answer I was taken to my mother room and they applied the hair removing cream brought for my sister. I had a weird smell. Then they gave me a warm water bath and was made to wear a half sari. It revealed my navel which felt weird. Then came the earring which I missed, pair of bangles, rings on my fingers and anklet. Then I was made to sit on the dressing table and was asked to close my eyes. When I checked in the mirror I saw myself with earring not like my sister. After a brief time I was allowed to open my eyes but mom blocked the view of the mirror. I was hurried to the center hall and was make to sit. The switch between me and my sister was known only to the four of us and was agreed to be maintained as such.

Sitting in the function and being the cause of the function are two separate things. I was nervous if someone will identify me that will lead to complete humiliation. But I also started to enjoy being the attention. After almost the entire day I was covered with sandalwood and turmeric paste, hand full of bangles and forehead full of kumkum. At around 5.00 pm I was taken to my room for some rest. I just laid on the bed and just dozed off. I was woken by my mom and had some milk and fruits to eat. I ate in half sleep and dozed off again.

I was woken up early the next morning. I thought I had a weird dream. But I realized that I was still in half sari and I was in deep trouble. My relatives had stayed back because there was another problem in hand. Being a traditional family it is our custom to pierce girls nose within the first week after puberty. I was not aware of this. We thought that they had stayed back to visit the family temple. It was the third day we again tried to convince my sister but she was in no condition to hear us out. But our family name has to be saved. On third day they started to ask about nose piercing ceremony to my parents but they just skipped the topic but they knew that cant do the same forever. When they asked me I was dead against it. I told the holes will be clearly visible and I cant go back to normal male life. They said if I remove the stud within 10 days there will be no mark of the piercing. The scar will be made only if you wear for a whole month. It seemed logic but I was not convinced. Mom asked Rashi to convince me but I said first pierce your nose then tell me. For which she answered she is ready to get her nose pierced with me. Now I had no choice except to accept it.

My mother announced the nose piercing function on next day to everyone. It had gathered all their attention. That morning again I was asked to take head bath. Then I was decorated with jewels and new sari. We went to our family temple. There a jewel box was kept in the goddess feet and I was asked to pray. All our relatives had gathered in the temple. It was more like a carnival than a temple. After prayer the priest handed over the jewel box to us and blessed me for a bright family life. I just blushed. I came to know that my nose will pierced by the same priest in a traditional manner at 3 pm at the center hall. Now I was scared of the pain. I request my mom to have a gunshot or even better a non piercing magnetic stud. But I know that was impossible. I asked to get some beauty sleep and rest. Like I could even close my eyes I had vision of the painful nose piercing.

I was woken up at 3 pm was asked to get ready. I was made to sit in the center hall. The hall was full with ladies of all age. All of them sported nose stud on both side that too bigger and heavy. Now I was scared am I going to double pierced too or on a single side. But I dare not speak because if I do they may recognize me by my voice. The priest came there on time and started to make initial preparations. Rashi was also having her nose pierced while she was siting next to me as promised.

Just then one of the relative put a garland on me and asked to do the nose piercing in a painful way to ease the child birth. I just cursed her. Mom just whisper me that she had spoken to the priest to make it really painless. Now I had my grandmother holding both my arms and my mother holded by head covering my eyes to prevent me from shaking my head. I could smell the needle being headed. This time in was in fear like the end of the world. Within few second I had a pain in my right nose. But it was bearable I thought it was over. But I was wrong. He had just pinched my nose to prepare for the piercing. Just as I let go of my breath came a sharp pain, smell of burning flesh. I screamed at top pitch. I stood up pushing my mother and grandma. The needle was only half a way inside. Now a dozen of our relative came together, caught me and made me sit again. The priest again pushed the needle inside my nose but now my eyes was not covered and I could see his hands. His hands came again to put the nose screw in the place. I begged him to let it be and to put the screw after the pain had reduced. But he just laughed. He said the pain will not go for few days. He pushed my hands away which was caught by my mom and forcibly flipped my nose and tightened the screw. Till now I was held by my relatives. I thought it was over. But one of them told to tighten the screw with molten wax or she will remove it. Had a second phase of pain he then remove the screw took some wax from his box applied in on the screw showed in it in flame. Again he flipped my nose and screwed it tightly. I just fainted. Now I will be with nose stud forever in my live.

After the ceremony, I was crying very badly because of the pain. Rashi decided to stay with me that night to make me comfortable, we had great understanding and that night, love bloomed between us. She liked me as a girl and loved dressing me and treating me as a woman. Rashi started calling me Ishani, my new feminine name. Rashi told her family that she loves me and want to marry me. Everyone agreed and we married but with twist, Rashi was dressed as groom and I was dressed as bride. We decided to continue our life with our roles reversed. 

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